My First
Nickle
on Medium & the
Cost
of an ADHD Dopamine Hit
After 6 months of intermittently publishing on Medium.com while constantly telling myself that I’d prioritize writing and publishing on a regular schedule as soon as I finished whatever thing I was working on at the time, in true ADHD fashion, I finally made my first nickel. A whole whopping $0.05. You can’t even buy candy for that anymore. And you know what? I was elated!
I’ve published 12 articles in 6 months on Medium. To be honest, 2 per month really isn’t so bad. Each article takes me, on average, about 5 hours from start to finish, including creating cover graphics, reinventing my bio because I never think I did it ‘right’ last time, re-creating my cover graphic as a square so I can share it on Instagram, and scheduling social media posts to promote said article. 60 hours of my life to earn $0.05, and I am elated!
But I will procrastinate doing paying work for a client that might only take me 3 hours and net me significantly more money immediately.
That, my friends, is ADHD in a nutshell.
If you’ve ever wondered how a kid with ADHD can play video games for hours but can’t pay attention to their homework for 10 minutes, this is it. Right here.
ADHD brains do not produce enough dopamine, and they don’t release that dopamine at the same time as neurotypical brains. Please note that I didn’t say the dopamine is released at the wrong time. Your brain is supposed to release dopamine so you can feel happiness. We have been brainwashed into believing that an external force arbitrarily rewarding us for complying with the system in which we find ourselves should make us happy. I’d argue that’s ridiculous.
A neurotypical brain is motivated by punishment and reward. It will release dopamine when you are rewarded for something you’ve done. We live in a system that rewards us for complying with the system. Listen to authorities, follow the rules, fit in with everyone else. Go to work, do what you’re told, earn the money, be happy with the money. Go home, mow the lawn, pay the bills so you don’t have any money. Repeat. If that neurotypical brain lived in a society that rewarded you for creative thinking, acts of kindness, and generosity, guess what neurotypical people would spend their time doing?
A neurodivergent brain with ADHD is motivated by interest. If I am interested in making and wearing a crazy patchwork jacket, then I will receive dopamine for making and wearing a crazy patchwork jacket, despite the fact that everyone around me thinks that jacket is weird and unusual. If I am interested in spending 60 hours of my life writing 12 articles on 12 very different topics, I will receive dopamine for spending 60 hours writing 12 articles. I will also receive dopamine for looking at that list of published articles and reminiscing on having spent 60 hours doing something I love. And I will once again receive dopamine when someone else appreciates one of those articles on Medium that I spent 60 hours of my life writing and publishing — whether that appreciation is shown through a follow, a clap, or a nickel.
I was not built to get rich in a capitalistic society, but I was built to be happy.
Who’s the broken one?
